Refresh

Alternating between different screens 

with the same humdrum of happy faces

These bedroom walls are caving in on me

I’ve been missing so long, 

I’m forgotten in everyone’s good graces.

I can’t remember the sun, the trees, 

the chatter of regular people

What is ‘regular people’?, I wonder

Remind me please, 

a name or a username that wasn’t yours.

Yes! I did notice the rain!

It made me smile for a second there,

that hint of petrich…you’re still unaware

you washed all over me 

yet again 

yet again, maybe it’s time to reconsider

I’m covered in fifty shades of self-shame

Dear God, I no longer wish to romance

these gallons of incremental physical ache.
Take it away, take it away.

As I narrate, she quizzes me, 

between all the concern and the exclaim

Do you think about him a little

Or Refresh in regular, fragmented breaks?

And I say…

Pray tell me,

how many seconds are there in a day.