Au revoir dearest "confused positioning" B/C-school

Of non-possibilities.
All of seventeen syllables
Describe this place.

Frankly, I don't think I can get myself to write much about it.

These days have been all about scampering through memories, thinking aloud the countdowns and then hush-hushing the other person when they do, hogging our favorite food items at the canteens, drinking and confessing, having loved and realizing, distracting ourselves from thinking we have less than 72 hours now. As I was emoting all that I wanted to say through Somewhere Only We Know at our very last cultural night last night amidst that batch that fervently applauded each of my performances over the past 2 years, I kept dreading the moment when I will walk out of that gate and turn back for one last glance. Leaving with my parents, I will feel like acting like that grumpy little 5 year old who wants to fake a stomach ache 'cause she doesn't want to leave home.

You've given me enough space to be myself and opportunities to do what I never imagined possible. I have and will never say this to anyone, but MICA - You complete me. (Beware of the waterworks)

Torn towels and dirty rags

Time trickles by

The last I checked

It was still a drop in the ocean.

When I look back

At the beautiful things they did

To make ugly decisions

Why did nobody tell her

Her mind was on a vacation

Even if she was far too busy

Knitting up the fragments of her imagination

She thought she would gift it-

The sweater that keeps him warm.

He was no Pavlov’s dog

I know ‘cause he stopped responding

To the music

That never meant to fool anyway;

He was going to be the king

Of the forest found

But never explored,

He tried to roar;

Was it too dense,

Or his legs were weak?

Either way

A coward remains one.

Did this movie have two lovers

Or two villains?

Each more lovely than the other

Each more vile than the other

Perhaps they were plain ordinary

And will be forgotten

Frame by frame

As time trickles by

Like a drop in the ocean.

Things you don't do during a medical test...when you're 25

Doctor: Do you often feel the need to get up at night to use the washroom?
Me: Nope. I do it before sleeping.
Doctor: *weird quizzical look, almost a duh*
Me: What?!?! My mom taught me when I was young.
Doctor: *rolls eyes*

***

Girl: The Pap Smear test is required only if you're married or sexually active.
Me: OK
Girl: I don't need it.
Me: OK
Girl: *waiting for an answer*
Me: Umm
Girl: *hands slightly going up in the air*
Me: Umm. ME NEITHER! Let's get outta here :D

Q&A

As I see you

Sitting half-grumpy

Scratching your face absentmindedly

Sniffing ‘cause of that cold you caught 

Shifting uncomfortably in your chair

And saying words that make so much sense

Despite the nasality and the slurring

And the unintended comic timing

I giggle

And accept your answers without questioning back

She nudges my arm

Her eyes speak

Be more professional!

I smile back at her

And think to myself

They say I am out of everyone’s league

But you are so out of mine

I won’t even try

Wish we had more time

Still, that’s alright

‘cause you give me hope

There might be more like you.

I played my part

The theatre scene at my college is well, quite fabulous! The people who started it now have their own theatre company Evam. You must’ve heard of them, they have been performing “Five Point Someone” around the country. If you haven’t, you will observe from now on. So the fact that someone as average as me could get a chance to play the lead on our theatre society's 10^th anniversary was un-fucking-believable.

Acting is not just awesome ‘cause you get to play someone else for a few minutes, but also ‘cause you get to give to it a little bit of you.

So while I was looking back at all those years of playing myself through someone else’s words, here are the plays I did.

8^th grade (1997): The Christmas Carol (?)

I played Ella, the lead guy’s wife. Interestingly I had been offered the role of Fredericka, the maidservant and the role was definitely bigger but the guy playing the lead was my crush at that time and I needed an excuse to spend more time with him so I fought with Liza, the original Ella and the director of the play, that I be offered Ella instead (I said I found that role more like-me as I could not play a docile, coy girl which, and I still stand by it, might actually be true) Since it was rumored that she too had a crush on the same guy, I presumed it was because of that very reason that she tried convincing me against Ella. But hey, I wasn’t the one to give up! I went to my English teacher, begged and pled, and got the role. And when Liza wasn’t watching, I did a Ha Hah! to myself. *evil smile*

9^th grade (1998): Some play, who cares

We were 7 and the roles were 6. It was purely bad luck I was absent the day the roles were allotted, so when I came to school the next day I was role-less. (I think it was karma that was playing out in the same lifetime, refer to grade 8) So what did I do? I wrote my part. Bahaha :D In the actual play the robber doesn’t get caught in the end, so I thought why not make my role a catalyst that helps put him behind bars! *shrugging my shoulders*

1^st yr Engineering (2002): Oedipus (Hindi)

Ah! The one that got me to BITS Pilani’s Oasis. Ismene was the second daughter of Oedipus. All I remember of my part was that I was wearing a big puffy pink gown with a tiara over my head. Regal! That was fun.

But what happened backstage was even better! Evidently one of the guys in the cast had a thing for me and he was eww-so-creepy. He not only made small talk with me every now and then but also somehow got ways to find me alone so he could creep the hell outta me. During practice sessions Mr. Astrologer would be adamant to read my hand. To make matters worse he suspected I was having a thing with another guy in the troupe and started spreading rumors about us. Now we were not gonna take this face down so Mr. S asked me if I wanted to have some fun with it. Then followed times when I used to pretend sneaking away with Mr. S right after the play practices. It was alright till astrologer guy got violent one day and started kicking and crying. Don’t judge me but boy, was it funny!!! But don’t worry, he did try to make me miserable when he became the director the next year and replaced me from every play during his tenure. Thankfully that opened up some new opportunities for me.

3^rd year (2004): Street play on some household issue

I had to hit a guy, as hard as I could. I don’t remember why. Frankly, I don’t care ;)

1^st year MICA (Jan 2009): Let’s have Sex!


What we did in-between practice

According to the directors, when the play is called “Let’s have Sex!” my audition is not required. I gave it nevertheless, they laughed, I got the part of the Girl. One of the most random things you will EVER read! However, it has a unique psychological twist at the end when the truth about the characters is revealed.

Won 2^nd prize at IIM-A for it. The only problem was telling my parents the name of the play :P

FYI, guys in IIM-A can be as creepy as anywhere else’s. When a guy comes to you three times and says “Let’s have sex eh” with a funky smile, it’s not funny or flattering. Ok a little funny and a little flattering.

2^nd year MICA (July 2009): Smoke Scenes

Thank God for mutual refusal of a stage kiss.

51 acts in 10 minutes. If you thought “Let’s have Sex!” was random, you’ve got to read this.

2^nd year MICA (Nov-Dec 2009): Silence! The Court is in Session (originally in Marathi “Shantata! Court Chalu Ahe”)



Day two

I had not cut my hair for 6 months ‘cause my director visualized them long. My auditions weren’t going well, I was supremely disheartened. I get a call at 2am to come for my final audition. Call it bad timing - I was attending a party - was semi-drunk and had experimented with the bong for the first time. So when I ended up getting the part I remember bawling in front of my director-cum-friend being so bloody overwhelmed, and not just because the wonderful role etched by Mr. Vijay Tendulkar was so freakishly me but because it came at a time when I desperately needed something to hang onto. And what a fabulous month and a half it was! Though it didn’t seem like it that time - screaming out dialogues out in the nice vast expanse at 5am in the last week of November (then attending classes at 9am), teeth chattering as your head peeped in and out of your thickest jacket synchronized with the timing of your dialogue and muttering abuses under our breath, never mind the rest of the cast never failing to fall asleep during my final 10-minute monologue, I think seeing your face on billboards all over the city, people paying to watch you perform, and to see their laughing/crying faces from the stage as the lights sweep across them every now and then, not to mention the standing ovations and applause(!), the countless hands I shook, the feet I touched, it’s all the high one needs. What was particularly exceptional was that my big fat family minus dog came to our last show in Delhi and according to my ex my dad was pretty dumbfounded after the show and my mom actually cried during my dialogues! Can you imagine! (This apart from the fact that some hot St. Stephens drama guy was asking about me *wink wink*)

We had 4 shows of the same but it was the second in particular when I forgot where Leela Benare ended and I started, where tears had to stop with my final dialogue they just couldn’t. That very moment will stay with me forever.

2^nd year MICA (12-13^th March 2010): In the Beginning

When the directors told me I will be playing Eve, my instant reaction was to warn them about my oh-not-so-awesome nakedness. Thankfully as it turns out that is not required. And as I leave in a few minutes for practice I realize that this might be the last play I will be performing, as will be the last song I will sing a few days hence on my beloved stage that’s more home to me than anywhere else.

It’s a good thing I’m not scared of change. But what if I don’t want to let go? 

Sigh.

To my dearest Mom

Know you like my blog
and I appreciate it, believe me
but mom stop reading!