Daayaan-baayaan-daayaan

Suna tha, samajhdaar ko ishaara hi kaafi hai
Par samajhdaaron ko samjhaate samjhaate,
humne apni hi soojh-boojh kho daali hai.

Aaram se baat karein toh hum napunsak
Ladke baat karein toh hum hinsak
Galiyon mein aawaazein uthayein toh hum berozgaar
Pooch toh lijiye Sir ki desh ki yuvaa berozgaar kyun hain!

Sawaal uthaana school ke shikshakon ne sikhaya toh sahi
Par yeh nahi ki sawaal kaunse poonchein,
Jawaab kisse maangein
Hum toh aap hi ki tarah joojh rahe hain iss duniya se har roz
Aapke hazaaron sawaalon ke vistrit jawaab hamare paas nahi
Kyunki hum aapke shikshak ya lok sevak nahi

Kabhi jaati, toh kabhi dharm se darte hain
Kabhi apni insaniyat mein bhi jhaank-ke dekhiye
Abhi bhi ek bus ke jalne ka maatam manaa rahe hain
Ab khoon se sani laash ko dekh aaye sukoon se bhi darriye

Kisi ne haq diya ya nahi, woh sab adhikaar aapne chheen liye
Asli naagrik kaun hai aur kaun nahi, woh nirnaye aap hi ne le liye?
Toh humne bhi aapko bewakoof samajh ke dinner table pe thoda gyaan diya
Chaliye, humne bhi aapko buddhoo samajh ke maaf kiya.

No Apologies

Pray tell me

Why is being heartless

such a virtue 

Feeling,

A weakness

Opening up, 

A vulnerability 

Expressing love,

The ultimate embarrassment.

I said it but not quite,

You heard it but not quite. 

So here it is for your reading (dis)pleasure. 

Love, here I could write an album of sorts

At arm’s length, making four hours worth of small talk

It’s not easy to keep track of your quips, whilst

my body’s as tense as a bowstring

Your well-rehearsed tricks are transparent for miles 

Sure, I’ll pretend to be blind if you’d like

I’m a slave to your wishes, aren’t I, 

a common prisoner of your smiles

When my body finally gives way 

With your slightest touch and

To the twinkle in those eyes

In that moment I don’t care what you think 

I can’t, just can’t hold it in. 

And I shouldn’t be asked

To hold it in. 

Or to get it over with. 

To GET.OVER.IT. 

To...compartmentalise. 

What an awfully cruel word to the unwise. 

You mean it, maybe not quite, but

I see misplaced pride in your eyes. 

As you stare at me as if I’m naíve

I stare back in disbelief, that

I tried to be less human

because evolution asked me to 

because you expected me to

And I let myself be fooled. 

Truth is, 

we weren’t really built that way

Much less me, that I will say

Perhaps I’m the luckiest girl in the world

to have felt and pained and loved and lost

By letting myself take the long, long fall

So 

I’m going to stop apologising for it all.

Keeping up appearances

It’s fine, I’m fine

Keeping up appearances 

is an old friend of mine

He has crashed on my couch

Many times before

Like an unwanted guest I can’t let go

Whenever I step out

He walks right in front of me!

And when I try to speak

He filters my words with his sieve

It’s fine, I’m fine

Keeping up appearances is the pen *and* the paper 

And I’m trapped in my own design

A Truly Histrionic Day

Every revolution, fortunately, starts with only a few
Visionaries amongst commoners who carry the burden of the zoo
Count yourself in and enjoy the ride
The best of you is yet to come...
Resist and defy. 
✊🏼

NOTA!

You’re triggered! but your gun is shooting blanks
Only accustomed to be a yes-man to people up the ranks
You don’t even know what weights to keep to measure your worth
Benchmarking with what’s spoonfed, thinking you’re salt of the earth

So courageous in speaking up, too coward to have an opinion
You’re worse than my father who at least has something he believes in
Blind and misguided you roam the streets like a lion
An emperor with no clothes thinks he’s king of the fucking jungle

Sit down! and exercise your birth right to be silent
Silent is what you are, when you choose to be blind to violence
Your choice to believe in nothing is a privilege you can afford
The saffron terrorists will soon be at your door saying ‘Not anymore! Not anymore!’

The more you poke the sleeping bear, the more she’ll learn to hunt
The more she slides into her armchair to call out your little stunt
Why does her mind bring you such discomfort - because she chose to peep out of the sand?
Enforcing your own insecurity and your inability to face yourself as a man without a plan?

When the time comes, she’ll have little shame and regret
She spoke her truth and did her part,
our world is about to change, you just haven’t seen it yet
You only know how to acquiesce ‘cause when have you ever been brave?
And you still can’t admit you’re wrong, for your strength always lay in your commitment to cave

And if her words don’t sound like they’re coming from a broken heart
Believer her when she says she might be losing sisters and brothers for she can’t manage to play different parts
She’s screaming because who knows how long it will be allowed to go on
You’re still here and reading the lyrics, but do you even understand my twisted love song?

Tell me your stories, ladies!

Seems a little conceited for me to be talking about women empowerment, given our privilege, trust me it does. But it’s taken me a long time to believe that every story has weight, some learning, however facetious and whatever the source.

Not only are some of us economically and socially privileged, we are also fortunate to be born in a time when a woman can speak her truth out loud. We might be trolled for it by insecure people, but once you’ve put your intentions out in the universe, no one can take it away from you. You are stronger just to have spoken. You only need to have faith that there are people who are waiting for your stories - to be heard, to be understood, to be passed on. Whether you’re pre-teen, a college-going student, an intern, a mother, a homemaker, a leader or whatever you choose to be or not-be.

Give yourself a break - remind yourself of how far you’ve come, measure your progress as an individual. It has taken me personally two decades to finally admit to myself that I am becoming more responsible, less judgmental, more anxious yet willing to get help for it. There are no rights or wrongs, no privileged or unprivileged, when we all are just trying to survive and support one another. 

These days we are being viewed under a microscope, constantly having to prove our worth, judged for every action, for imperfect feminism, for choosing to be lazy or irresponsible although those might just be how tired we are of the patriarchy that we realise was never the truth but only thrusted upon us. As women, we have to work even harder to be known for the right things. There are people out there who only want to feel better by putting you down. They’ll gossip about the men you’ve slept with, doubting how you got your promotion, commenting on your weight and body structure, believing you are weak and uni-dimensional. Don’t let them because that's not important, it's not what you are. Most women I personally know are more multi-faceted and courageous than any given man. We’ve had to prove ourselves so much at every step that we ended up scrambling to do everything, and the results are glorious. Be proud of your accomplishments and don't hesitate to share them with everyone. 

I DO NOT say that we need to curate or completely manicure our lives and our stories, but I would rather focus on how Oprah promoted girl education in Africa, how she’s the first self-made female billionaire in the world, than her never-married and never-mothered aspects of her controversial life that has zero bearing on the inspiration that I can derive from a woman in power. 

Find your role models. Be somebody’s role model. Lift up other women. Tell them that even to want to be disobedient is a choice they can make. Lift up women, even the ones you dislike or whose values you absolutely do not agree with. Everyone has had a journey of their own. You don’t have to like it, but accept it. Find a positive thing in every woman you meet. And try to focus on that. 

For now, just tell your story. 

x