Tales from the Metro - Ladies coach

No more
butt pinching
dick pressing
looking down your shirt
body odour
pickpocketing
losing temper
violent thoughts.

We rejoice
except the ones looking for love
in the next morning's paper.

I lost atleast 10 grams writing this

So today during Anjaana Anjaani (omfg the mind numbing, bored the holy bejesus out of me, it took a Robot to bring me back to life, though I would've preferred a fuck) S goes "Oh Happy Gandhi Jayanti" and I'm pretty sure though I stared at him for like 2 seconds and didn't answer back 'cause I was trying to wrap my brain around it. If only it had been a weekday...Then later when we were quietly digging into our McChickens, Saare Jahan Se Accha instrumental version was playing in the mall, I have no clue why (ohh...right) we started discussing if that's the national song or if its Vande Mataram. I remember sometime back in school that used to be one of those questions that the history teacher used to feel proud of that they've tricked us into, except that we never really cared and since S and I are coincidentally from the same school, we probably related to it 'cause we chuckled harmoniously. (I dunno actually, I didn't ask why he chuckled) Either way, I don't know what it means to be patriotic. I only understand fanaticism. Though not the kind of fanaticism that Ms. Kiara aka Piggy Chops had in the friggin movie about suicide 'cause she was like totally perky about the whole thing. Weird. Dhishoom to my head wonly. And do you know there's a movie on homosexuals coming out soon titled "Dunno Y"? Why, god, why? I don't even believe in you and I'm still crying out to you.

Amongst other things that S has emphatically started saying to me are "Why would anybody wanna date you?", "Dude! You're screwed up" and "No wonder you're single!" He sort of logically concludes what my ex said to me a few days back "Oh I see the temper's still there" I don't even know why I waste my breath on boys anymore, the incorrigible robosapiens (ok 'that' I stole from Superstar Rajni) As long as I am earning and have a laptop and an internet connection I seriously don't understand why I need a guy. Which contradicts one of the recent feelings that I have towards romantic relationships 'cause I tried the whole 'random' thing and it's really not worth my time. Though it will help my re-celibate cause by totally putting me off sex. Yayness all around.

However, if I am being standoffish or cold or mean or whatever the words are, I'm totally gonna blame my parents, all 25 years of it, 'cause it seems like the easiest thing to do. I don't know how to display affection at all and when I do try and genuinely at that, I start crying. I know, beats me! Currently my idea of showing love is to wear a t-shirt that says "My dog is cuter than your dog" and it's sad 'cause my dog can't read. Actually no dog...yyyeahhh. Though I think S has helped that situation to some extent by being the weirdly expressive person that he is and by constantly calling me a pussy, apart from the more obvious reason. My hand holding record is now 4 seconds! Say whaaa! Hi5! (Slap it, don't grab it. Wow. So. Many. Images.) And I offered to take my parents out twice, except they wanted to do other things. Can't say I didn't try.

The awesome bit is that I get to see A.R. Rahman tomorrow live! Hearing his Robot/Enthiran soundtrack, I was reminded of the episode when Ross played his keyboard at the Central Perk. Yeah. I'm getting a few footwear my way aren't I?

Love in the times of internet

Is it me or is it you that stalks?
You're onto me like an invisible hawk
You may or may not have a plan of attack
Either way I've kept eyes on my back

Once, twice, now three times a day?
this predictibility's understood by your processor's cache
it don't need your command, your mind it can read
your mind says your heart has always bled for me

Even if you don't agree please don't deny
I've been longing for someone to give me that high
The high that you yourself took from me
like the morning espresso reminding me of the absentee

What's the point now? Your guess is as good as mine
though I can still see some remnants of our shrine
the remnants that most my conversations let drop
Now is it you or is it me that stalks?