Since I was 14, Music has been the only thing I *know* I’m good at. But it’s funny how I’ve tried to make a career in everything that I’ve been mediocre!
Anyway, my husband didn’t take no for an answer ‘cause he saw how much all this was killing me. And a few months in, I’m closer to getting broke, but so much happier. I wake up with a purpose, workout regularly, am back to my verbose extrovert self, more aware of the world around us and much more patient and cordial.
I’ll be honest. One of the things that prevented me from taking this step was in the interest of feminism. Having grown up around women who’ve been working all their lives, I have been conditioned to be independent and never think of relying on the husband for financial security. I’ve been one of those women in the past who have judged others’ decision to become homemakers, and thus, I was (and am) still sceptical about how people might perceive my step. There is no doubt about the fact that I will be dependent for quite a while, but I know that my husband will not let me turn into a homemaker, and will keep pushing me till I’m back on my feet again!
Being on your own is hard work. Because the biggest part of the freelance job is to land work, not the actual doing part of it. Of course there are days when I do not believe in my skill and think that this might’ve been the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. More often than not, I tend to get lazy, till I remind myself that I’m my own Sales, Marketing and Creative teams and there's no minute's rest. Some days I feel like I’m begging to people, some days I wake up motivated with complete faith in myself.
I still get miserable every now and then. This is not an ideal job. Ideal would be me having a manager and I swoop in, do my work and get out. That would be awesome. Maybe in a few years.
I also have a band now - Ashmore. Himanshu, Sandeep and I are working on tons of new music and jam once a week. My singing voice has started to come back, songwriting getting polished and I’m so thankful to these two boys for being active, eager to make original music and just being my Doolally buddies. You bring me joy. :)
Check back with me in a few months, perhaps a year. I might be stuck at the same place, I might’ve done fantastic for a newbie. Perhaps you can help me get there. I would love love love some help :)
4 comments:
Archita, I wish you all the very best.
Thank you, Shruti :)
Such a long journey, to happiness, but so glad you're there :-) gives the rest of us some hope!
Great stuff. Keep it going :)
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