Of course there is no sexism at my workplace!

The other day I read a post about a woman who faced crippling sexism at ALL of her workplaces (http://bit.ly/29vmMPa), bringing her to a crossroads in her life. It was quite shocking and felt unreal because I’ve been lucky to only face “light/generic sexism”. Haha!

My understanding of sexism might be limited by my own experiences but I’m not here to cry. I just want to see how the whole thing works with men and women at the workplace.

From my understanding - Gender diversity is not in numbers, it is in the intent. I believe it is ok to hire more women because it motivates men to come to work, I believe it is ok to hire women in sales roles because they might make better inroads with male leaders. But only from the perspective of landing the opportunity. (I don’t support using sex as a weapon or a means to get anywhere in your career). And then if you do hire these women, giving them their due and not making them feel like you’re doing them a favor is an integral part of it. Hiring is a two-way street.

I’ve been very lucky to work for organizations such as Infosys, Hero MotoCorp and Viacom, where sometimes being a woman might even be an advantage! Never have I felt  that I’m lesser, not valued, or any different from a male colleague. Not to say that work politics don’t exist, but at least it isn’t gender motivated and honestly, that’s a bit of a relief! One less bridge to cross.

I've always claimed to be only above-average at my work (and it doesn’t always come from a humble place!) But I’ve been given credit where it’s due more often than not. I also have more pride than most and don’t take crap from people, so I do give it back when I’m treated like a doormat. This I say as a person, not just as a woman.

With respect to my observations at the workplace – I have seen that men are patient, better organized, negotiate with tact, have the ability put across a conflicting point without ruffling feathers and definitely give saner career advice.

And we women have our work cut out for us. We need to acknowledge that, the same way some of our boyfriends, brothers and husbands try their best to help us with household work/parenting, we too have just scratched the surface at our offices and as much as instant equality seems obvious, a lot of it will still happen with becoming the best employee we can. When 8 out of every 10 women overperform, only then the men will recognize it’s not just an exception. And men at workplaces need to understand that we women do not receive an unspoken professional training all our lives. We’ve been taught how to be good students, but not bosses. We work hard, men work smart thus they lead. So, we are also burning our fingers and learning along the way. We can't apologize for that. We can’t be men but we can complement you. We are passionate, driven, don’t take any opportunity for granted and genuinely want to put in the extra hours to get noticed. Accept that and help us. Don’t not use swear words when we’re in the room, we swear too! Invite us for a drink with the boys from work, even if we don’t drink. Don’t take credit for our work, don’t undermine us during meetings, don’t mock our suggestions. Don't make fun of us behind our backs and call us weak because we cried at work. There’s no harm in correcting us, we will swallow our pride and learn. Lastly, don’t assume things about us, give us a chance. Trust us, it’ll help you. For the one woman in your team who has taken 6 months off work to take care of her newborn, there’s a woman in your life who did or will do the same and make your life easier. It’s not an opportunity to slack off, it may just be a sacrifice! For all the times your female colleague leaves work early to do some urgent house work, she is furiously typing on her laptop at midnight while you’re blissfully asleep after a glass of whiskey. Women in India get paid close to 30% lesser than men for the same role (according to a recent research conducted by Monster.com) and you wouldn’t believe the number of women I know who have been on the verge of a nervous breakdown with the amount of work they do. Women who are terrified of taking sabbaticals for the fear of being judged and left behind in the race dominated by men.

Also, allow me to digress.

A few years ago, I was working at this one dream organization of mine. It seemed very cool and chilled out and when I quit, I decided some day I will return there in a better job role. A few months later a close friend and colleague from there was sexually harrassed by my former reporting manager and she promptly reported it. At first the organization protected her and tried to conduct whatever inquiry they could, despite not having a sexual harassment policy. But eventually, she was made to feel like she was creating a nuisance by dragging out the issue and pulling down company morale by constantly urging the seniors to take stern/legal action. They simply did not want to be bothered. This is a friend who worked 24X7 and would’ve seen herself working there probably all her life. But because on the other side was a senior sales guy who brought in the much needed moolah, he was practically shielded and the issue brushed off after he denied the allegations. (He removed me from his Facebook soon thereafter, which doesn't exact make him look like an innocent party) After trying to put up a good solo fight, and being told by her female reporting manager that she probably should take some therapy because it was affecting her work (!), and months of trying to put her head down and waiting for some sort of justice, she decided to quit and put the ordeal behind her. I think the company’s reaction shook her up more than the harassment itself.  One of my favorite places to work shocked me with a vulgar display of how hollow their diversity is and how male hierarchy always supersedes something as serious as sexual harassment. I would like to see their reaction if a female senior were to harass a junior male. (Though I hope it never happens) Needless to say, I never recommend that company to anyone now.

We are not “feminists” because the word sounds cool. We are feminists because we just want to be treated like you, like ourselves, faultless because of the things handed to us by nature and nurture.