I know exactly where we are. Where the fuck are we?!?!

I've never been overly ambitious. There are things that come naturally to me and I'm grateful for them. Then there are things that don't come naturally to me and I leave them be. Or push myself a little and see where it goes. But never driven enough to be a cut-throat person in personal life or in career (except when someone says "That girl sings as well as you do" IT'S WAR, SISTAH!) I have to admit that my ex-cum-best-friend-from-an-alternate-universe knows best when he says "You're just lazy" I can't contest that. But there is nothing wrong in not wanting to be wedded to your job. If I wish to be mediocre in my career to have a bit of life beyond the corporate four walls, hey that's my call. Don't look down upon me (unless you're too tall in comparison)

 

Since we got talking, I narrated to him my recent fiasco with trying to date. He laughed his loud laugh like I'm the most amusing person in the world and told me that it took such little to completely shattered my image in his eyes; he just recently gave *my* example to this woman who has him on a 6 month probationary dating period and that "I can't believe you've become like all the other girls. What's with the inane "Where is this going? Where do you see us 3 months from now?" questions! Do all women become like this at our age?" After his "I quite identify with that guy" monologue, he finally agreed to agree with me on a tiny speck of something and I could breathe easy.

Lesson for the next time around - Don't Be A Girl.

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I've maintained that if I were born near the sea, I would've been a complete water baby. A person just needs to say "Rafting in Rishikesh" and my bag packs itself automatically. Although it didn't quite, I found myself in the snake-road scales as soon as the weekend began.

If I were to describe the Saturday that passed, I would be quite accurate in saying the rafting was an out of body experience. If you thought the rapids were exciting, then imagine rough winds, heavy rainfall and hailstorm. Water droplets taking the shape of tiny spears, or like a thousand visits to the doctor to get an injection, all in the same day. The hail shot like darts on our skin, the wounds to be visible till much later. Screaming, shouting, synchronized rowing to save our lives. Right out of the movies! Did I mention I almost drowned? Though I was disappointed my life didn't flash in front of my eyes. All I knew was, in that moment, I didn't want it to be the last.

Ah, the memories! 

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So the Incubus album got leaked 2 1/2 months before its release date, just when I was about to order my pre-release copy online. Surely not good news for the band, kinda like premature ejaculation if you ask me. I had just started to ride the wave. The brand evangelist in me had much more to rave about and get people around me excited about a band they had never heard or considered listening to.(That's the marketer in me talking)

This album is a complete departure from their previous attempts, and when I say departure I mean they took the first Greyhound out of Los Angeles to the New York airport to catch a flight to Zambia. Can't say I liked it too much. However, you know that time when you're ready to get married and you meet this guy and you think "Hey, I'd have to live with his excessive smoking and drinking but atleast he's a nice guy and earns a lot"? And you meet meet meet till you convince yourself that you've fallen in love with him? Similarly I have If Not Now, When? on repeat on my pod for the past 2 weeks. And I've warmed upto it to quite an extent!

Incase you haven't seen the first single Adolescents, please do. The shadows multiply the Incubus. Such joy.

And my evening song, Isadore.

Listen ok? The post title is taken from "Deep Inside" by Incubus from the album S.C.I.E.N.C.E., inarguably their best album to date.

Goodbye sanity, hello profanity

Lots and lots of shit has been happening lately. Like LOTS. It's like my body and my soul is attracting all sorts of negativity. Imagine you are a magnet inside an all-pin case, and they come rushing towards you as you enter. Literally the center of their universe.

So obviously I've been on the edge most of the time; cribbing about food while removing those chunky tomatoes, moping around at home, those unfortunate parents are tolerating the rebirth of the teenager they thought they left behind eons ago, brother getting lectures on how he should study otherwise he will repent like I did (you had to be there, I was 'so' convincing he actually studied day and night for about 3 days. Right about now, he'll be playing FIFA on my laptop. Oh well) Stopped communication with a person I had taken to quite fondly recently, shut my twitter account that had been up for a year...not that it was done out of some random urge to PMS.

You always hear "If you think bad things will happen to you, they probably will" So as they say in The Secret, or when I first heard it through a friend during my engineering days "If you think really hard that that truck standing around the corner will come towards you, it will" And I stood there, concentrating really hard at the driver, trying to send some brain signals to him "come to me, come to me", they said. Then I probably had a lecture or something, and so I left. But that's not important. The important thing is that I was 20. Yes.

When I started this week I was determined to beat all the workload with my awesomeness so Bombay could happen by Thursday, and I could spend the weekend with the friends I hadn't chilled with in so long and So Long reminds me of my 2nd song, which reminds me of a 3rd (or 4th) hopeful that could happen with my two boys in Bombay. But like I mentioned, things have a way of very slickly screwing themselves up for me so as soon as Monday began, I knew I was in for a terrible week and a possible cancellation of my long awaited trip.And like every single time, people around me asked me to keep the faith, think of positive things, think of times I'll be pub-hopping and wearing my new faackawezome new stilettos. So I did.

Now that I'm looking at the clock, I think I have about a half hour that I leave for the airport.

AAAND I had time for this blogpost. So #winning! Damn I miss Twitter.

Shipwreck

Gently rocking back and forth against the calm of the waves

Two lovers sway in their drunkenness of his aftershave

She tries to hide her bosom, heaving to the band’s beat

Today her virgin voyage, he promises, will be complete

Out of sheer nervousness, she can’t hide her laughter

When he whispers in her ear all that will happen after

The cupid did not fail here at his skill of archery

And he brought whatever was left of the required artillery

They should reach the hour of glory certainly sometime soon

Nothing could possibly go wrong, it was the night of a full moon!

There were noises in the background, however muted by his voice

From the corner of her eye she saw a boat but she made a choice

She made a choice to keep looking straight into his eyes

His eyes looked worried but he tried to improvise

He asked her to leave the first chance she could get

He’ll meet her the next day and they’ll read about this in the gazette…

All one can see now are their silhouettes against the sea

Of a fine day in 1912 when he saw her bubbling melancholy

Telling him she does not deserve the impending penitentiary

Immortalized as a maiden for one less than a century