Daayaan-baayaan-daayaan

Suna tha, samajhdaar ko ishaara hi kaafi hai
Par samajhdaaron ko samjhaate samjhaate,
humne apni hi soojh-boojh kho daali hai.

Aaram se baat karein toh hum napunsak
Ladke baat karein toh hum hinsak
Galiyon mein aawaazein uthayein toh hum berozgaar
Pooch toh lijiye Sir ki desh ki yuvaa berozgaar kyun hain!

Sawaal uthaana school ke shikshakon ne sikhaya toh sahi
Par yeh nahi ki sawaal kaunse poonchein,
Jawaab kisse maangein
Hum toh aap hi ki tarah joojh rahe hain iss duniya se har roz
Aapke hazaaron sawaalon ke vistrit jawaab hamare paas nahi
Kyunki hum aapke shikshak ya lok sevak nahi

Kabhi jaati, toh kabhi dharm se darte hain
Kabhi apni insaniyat mein bhi jhaank-ke dekhiye
Abhi bhi ek bus ke jalne ka maatam manaa rahe hain
Ab khoon se sani laash ko dekh aaye sukoon se bhi darriye

Kisi ne haq diya ya nahi, woh sab adhikaar aapne chheen liye
Asli naagrik kaun hai aur kaun nahi, woh nirnaye aap hi ne le liye?
Toh humne bhi aapko bewakoof samajh ke dinner table pe thoda gyaan diya
Chaliye, humne bhi aapko buddhoo samajh ke maaf kiya.

No Apologies

Pray tell me

Why is being heartless

such a virtue 

Feeling,

A weakness

Opening up, 

A vulnerability 

Expressing love,

The ultimate embarrassment.

I said it but not quite,

You heard it but not quite. 

So here it is for your reading (dis)pleasure. 

Love, here I could write an album of sorts

At arm’s length, making four hours worth of small talk

It’s not easy to keep track of your quips, whilst

my body’s as tense as a bowstring

Your well-rehearsed tricks are transparent for miles 

Sure, I’ll pretend to be blind if you’d like

I’m a slave to your wishes, aren’t I, 

a common prisoner of your smiles

When my body finally gives way 

With your slightest touch and

To the twinkle in those eyes

In that moment I don’t care what you think 

I can’t, just can’t hold it in. 

And I shouldn’t be asked

To hold it in. 

Or to get it over with. 

To GET.OVER.IT. 

To...compartmentalise. 

What an awfully cruel word to the unwise. 

You mean it, maybe not quite, but

I see misplaced pride in your eyes. 

As you stare at me as if I’m naíve

I stare back in disbelief, that

I tried to be less human

because evolution asked me to 

because you expected me to

And I let myself be fooled. 

Truth is, 

we weren’t really built that way

Much less me, that I will say

Perhaps I’m the luckiest girl in the world

to have felt and pained and loved and lost

By letting myself take the long, long fall

So 

I’m going to stop apologising for it all.

Keeping up appearances

It’s fine, I’m fine

Keeping up appearances 

is an old friend of mine

He has crashed on my couch

Many times before

Like an unwanted guest I can’t let go

Whenever I step out

He walks right in front of me!

And when I try to speak

He filters my words with his sieve

It’s fine, I’m fine

Keeping up appearances is the pen *and* the paper 

And I’m trapped in my own design