Why did I start a blog?

Having realized I was going to be working in an Online Marketing space over summers, I thought it’d better get myself acquainted with the dynamics of the web, the power of community building, the rising influence and innovativeness of the internet user and discover online brand-building since it is now demands an increasing space in the media plan of every organization that realizes it cannot afford to be left behind in the race of the brands.

Clap.

Stop.

Just kidding! *snicker snort snicker snort* It’s a good thing I didn’t get the ppt ready in time. For the 8-page document you can mail me on archita.trisal@gmail.com (I’m not kidding about this)

See, I have a non-existent love life. It’s been so long, I can’t even spell sxe right. Grades are low, motivations lower. I’m getting fatter, older and somehow my acne phase just wouldn’t pass. I don’t expect to see any cute juniors and even if there were, my motivation levels would fail me. To sum up, I have no life *sob* I have only you cyberspace, my lone love affair; my release, my own world of free speech.

Gotcha again!

So what really happened? Let’s do a regression case analysis, Written Analysis and Communication (WAC) style, shall we? (MICA I miss you. Not.)

Situation Analysis

Archita Trisal first got acquainted with the word ‘blogging’ back in 2005 through this super-cool insightful information providing bulletin board at Career Launcher. She read it once, she did not understand. She read it twice and she gave up. It just did not make sense to keep an online diary whoopsies JOURNAL (my bad) which was supposed to be personal yet made public.

People wrote endless highly interesting stories on their blogs. Exhibit: “Today at college we bunked our first lecture and then Saurabh and I went for a movie. It was called (insert here some random Bollywood movie, shot in the Alps but pretending Ooty) After which we had Rasam Chawal at Udipi from the banana leaf and slurped till the rasam wet my bra sliding through my arm.” Yay! So while the rest of the world was throwing their hands up in awe or simply getting that vicarious horrible feeling of arm-wetting, Archita pondered “I can do this. Big shit. Should I, for starters, type out my 9th-12th grade JOURNALS? I do have juicy, angst full stories on my different crushes every year and how I just stared at them from a distance while they never noticed me and had fun with the hot ones from my class.” (She is hot now you losers and she can sing too. Imagine all the sxe and the babies you could have made)

But every time she would start a blog, the pressure of being interesting used to get to her and she suffered that ill-fated disease called (insert Balaji ending-credits music) Writer’s Block. She was caught between a rock and a hard place (not that she complained)

Till one fateful day in Jan 2009, while attending one of the most boring lectures in the history of boring lectures, she scribbled 7 Haikus in the notebook she never found again and asked herself “What do I do with this? It’s not big enough to be called a poem and I don’t have the heart to throw this shit away, for a writer always keeps drafts even if they suck real bad”

Problem Statement

What should Archita do with her 7 Haikus and what would resolve any further occurrences of such an event?

Options

a) No! Don’t get sucked into cyberspace!
b) Start a blog like every other loser on this planet.
c) Open a MySpace page instead, featuring her international hit single (She has three takers in Japan, I swear, I don’t lie) “Blue Butterfly”

Evaluation of Options

a) Say no to cyber roam (Cyberspace is for losers with no sxe life): Ehh option directly eliminated considering bracketed premise coinciding with current circumstances.
b) Enter ye Blogosphere: 7 Haikus find their mother and following babies shall have an immortal home.
c) Let’s take a break. I need MySpace: Considering her endless number of talents, a MySpace artist page is sure to follow. This is being looked at as a long-term marketing strategy, after adding a few more hit singles to her kitty, rather than an instant gratification tactical solution.

Recommendation

It is recommended that Archita starts her own blog to make her creative juices flow and drink it too (Creative diarrhoea sounds unpleasant no?)

Action Plan

Choose a blog website from amongst Blogger and Wordpress. Wordpress has the cool snapshot tool but Blogger seems to be more popular with her friends and also has a virtual gadget called ClustrMaps which she thinks is nothing but a clever spy tool.

Give it a really tacky name like http://smalltalkcompulsion.blogspot.com after discussion with 2 other friends who aren’t helpful at all.

Go to her friends’ blogs and say “Jeez! They call themselves writers? They should be banned from using the internet, let alone having the right to say “Yeah man, I blog””

(Word Count: 637)

So there, case closed.

...While somewhere far far away you hear the sweet sounds of Archita singing “Ayo I’m tired of using technology, why don’t you sit down and blog with me”