Yeh saali zindagi

Bhenchod, life saali weird hai. 

Here I was looking forward to watching the F1 qualifying today and I had to run a bloody temperature. It's a good thing I refused Metallica left, right and center because look where that would've gotten me! (Pervy Delhi men + Pervy Gurgaon men = Groping to scar you even in after-life) 

Anyway, we were dining at a restaurant in Noida last night and these people from Virgin Racing technical support were there too. Two old men and two super hot female engineers who my mom thought were cheerleaders. So of course my big fat excited family had to get super excited and my dad being the overenthusiastic chump that he is had to repeat "Welcome to India! Have a great time tomorrow! Welcome to India! Good luck for tomorrow! Do well!" like they're his 14 year old sitting for an exam the next day. It also involved a photosession, by the by. Meanwhile I was sinking lower and lower in my seat. Palm was on the face the whole time, except when I was hogging biryani by the dozen. And so now I have a stomach upset and fever. (I've realized one can blame the family for absolutely everything that goes wrong in one's life)

If I haven't told you enough - Nidz, you're a fantastic friend. I'm warning you ahead of time that you're gonna be my 3am buddy buds for the next couple of weeks. And thanks for convincing me I'm super awesome and humoring me when I have my "I don't know what to live for!" moments. An encore would be required every night till I ask you to stop. One day we will live together and keep a talking parrot. And teach it to abuse in a few languages. Then we'll be the crazy parrot ladies with stellar careers profiled on afaqs! Same goes for Vasu, plus the shopping, minus the parrot.

My laptop is making sounds like a diesel engine's. Rumble rumbly, like my tummy. If the Dewarists have taught me anything, it is to sample every strange sound you hear so that it can be used to create music. I'm guessing laptop fan sound isn't one of them. Stomach even more so.

****

If I didn't have work I would've probably gone insane. That's possibly the strangest realization I've had in the longest time. My first year at work started off with a bang and was going bust with the appraisal approaching. What I had to learn was how to basically "get work done, faster" and that was gonna happen if I screamed at my creative agency people loud enough. I was the one they called if they wanted the deadline to be extended - the nice accommodating fuck that I am. Only I knew what was going to be unleashed if I let myself go.

Then I let myself go.

Now I'm dreaded for my monologues. I have to say, not being on stage for close to a year has made me crave performing so much, this screaming business is quite an outlet! So now they'd rather just get my work done soon enough than see my name flash on their phone every half hour. 

Hold it, is it keeping me from going insane or making me insane? Hahaha!

*Humblebrag alert*

But overall work life is definitely getting awesomer by the day. I mean when the VP Marketing himself asks you specifically to join a workshop with him, it couldn't be more overwhelming. Either they love my inputs or they're entertained every time I'm in a meeting. In the last meeting I told the french director of my upcoming television commercial if he could use a green screen and do the rest in post prod. He got up and said "You have ze director right heeeaaa, what ya need me fau?" And then the rest of the afternoon he kept taking jabs at me and winking at me. My bosses were having a field day. I even got entry into the senior management huddle! I've become one of the men \m/ Yusss yusss! I've also started using the Serious Voice.

What a sweet old french man. Francois. I can say his name all day. Fron-soo-aaa.

What really bothers me is that most people don't understand what I do, including me sometimes. I mean, I'm the Brand Manager for 5 motorcycle brands. How exactly am I contributing to society? I'm not a doctor saving lives, an engineer (technically I am) creating world class infrastructure and technology innovations, a teacher who is the foundation of everything good. I sell bikes, which leads to petrol being used, putting pressure on the environmental resources. What little meaning my whole career has! Everyday I need to convince myself that my product is making life easier for a few people, my brand is giving them the self esteem they need to feel proud of themselves and measure their accomplishments with. 

An interesting conversation on the related topic:

Me: Sir (to my piano teacher), my very first commercial is on tv!

Teacher: Really? Wow. Did you make it?

Me: No, that's the production house's job.

Teacher: So did you write the script?

Me: No, that's the ad agency's job.

Teacher: Then what was your role?

Me: I dunno...I arranged meetings? *gulp*

I had an idea, I've learnt quite a few pieces on my piano and I'm really craving an audience. Would you mind me putting a video at the end of each post? Won't be more than a minute long, I promise!