Hello & Welcome

It's a real tragedy that it has been more than three years
I said "I love you" to people who weren't my girlfriends.
There have been a few times my heart was stuck in my throat
throbbing
ready to be spit out
only to have ego sew my lips.

Thank God!
Those "goodbye I love you's" are devastating, aren't they?

I said it a thousand times looking at your picture.
I said it a million times in my head.
And there were times I was thinking out so loud I feared I could be heard.
But that would've been ok.
Atleast I wouldn't have had to look back and think
What if I had put my pride on the line? Should I have risked it?
But my friends were there with big placards that said No! Don't do it! 

It's supposed to be easy with the right person, isn't it?
It should escape the mouth like cigarette smoke?

But if I had said it out loud
and it didn't change anything
what a blow would that have been!
So, even if my jaw were giving up,
I'll let my heart stay stuck in my throat
for as long as it doesn't feel wrong
I'll wait till the time it feels right
the time when it's not a goodbye, but a hello.

Hello. 
Welcome to my life.
I love you. 
Please don't leave me!

Maybe a statement give or take.
And maybe not in that sequence.

No Good Einstein

Nobody's extraordinary
we're all the same
similar moulds with different names
You catch one person in the perfect
another at the worst possible time
some you measure in dollars
others unvalued like dimes.

Everybody's a genius
in their own right
you could have a quiet ambition
just as well be a flamboyant knight
Some get in only a sentence
other more than their designated two cents
so relativity makes some lose
and some win, at each other's expense.

I confess, I'm not extraordinary
I'm cut from the same cloth.
I wake up every morning
to add spices to the same broth.
I have never made any tall claims
I've been rewarded for my goodness
been punished for my share of shame.

I had but one moment of insanity
as against my thousand moments of wise
One day I was at the top of your list
the next I fell in your eyes
I feel sorry for the both of us that you didn't wait to see my genius
and I have to bear the humiliation of being compared to your previous
Why must you be the trigger and I resign to being the bullet?
I only wanted to be the photograph ensconced in your wallet.

I'm just an ordinary genius trying to survive.
And right now I couldn't convince you of anything to save my life.

Cheers darlin'

It is not important how I know
but I know that you couldn't care less
you're perhaps busy making rounds with the woman of your dreams
(or so you keep telling her...and yourself)
making final decisions on table tops
and garlands, gold jewellery and a three tiered cake
and where you will fly later, for nothing but a vacation
from your mundane life
And I wish I could be happy for you,
after three years from when you broke the news to me
in my bed,
instead of chanting "the one that got away, the one that got away"
but thank God, you kept your promise to someone
and frankly, I'm not falling apart here
I would never give you that satisfaction
I just wish it were, infact, about you
and not the general sadness
about how love lost at this age not only finds a new arm candy
but someone who'd perhaps be bound to them for life.

My love, how can I not dedicate a final song to you?
I wish I could be there, singing my dashed hopes to you.
Anyhow, good luck to you and your wife
Here's a toast to the biggest party of your life.