Troublemaker

When I hear a song in minor

I feel myself regurgitating again

And I’m trying to cling to the goodness

I chose to plaster on my person

Born with half a heart

that cuts too deep but bleeds too little

I’ve managed to fool everyone here

While fooling myself

That the box will stay forever sealed

The Troublemaker is my namesake

My body is the prison and she the inmate

Words, the way they form in my head,

Refuse to toe the line any more

They’re launching a revolt on the mouth

to have it at their mercy from now on

And it’s getting harder by the day

To forget the key is in arm’s reach

In an instant, the lock will come undone

And the ghost will be unstoppable  

The Troublemaker is my namesake

My body is the prison and she the inmate

The Devil is my doppelganger

She is taking over me like cancer

Etch me in your memory

In a split second,

you won’t recognize me

like I don't identify

with the one you see 

I am the Troublemaker

I am the Troublemaker, you'll see

Accidental Christ

Is life supposed to feel this empty

You make a sound and it echoes back to you

Fill up the tank lest your mind goes awry

But my limbs can’t move and my thoughts are frozen

An extra pill to ease the pain tonight

Could go the extra mile or could go the other way

A long-time love lost for reasons unknown

The keys are getting dusty and the melody is gone

Endless rounds of coffee to keep me awake

I can’t even differentiate between 3 pm and 3 am

Days turn into nights and nights turn into days

And this circle makes me dizzy in a thousand ways

A leap of faith to hit a new milestone

For the sake of simply shaking off the boredom

There is no passion left, the ache to go on

And the leap turns into a great last fall

What’s to celebrate for the tiny sphere of energy in my gut

Toast me when I’ve moved on but don’t let me know

A black and white existence turns to a technicolor lie

My paranoia is your genius, my slurs are your eccentricity

When will I recover, do I even have the will?

Or is it best to perish and go up in smoke

I don’t love life to feel that our time is short

Life is too long, my friend

Give me my moment to quit

She's gonna be home soon

Glances turned to words

And words turned to proximity

Proximity turned to kisses

And kisses into infinite possibility

Now it wouldn’t be so wrong

If I didn’t have to fade into anonymity

Because what if she enters the door

And we're covered in shades of culpability?

She’s gonna be home soon

And we’ve to lay our filthy coup

Boy, it’s not for me to hold

A moral high ground for you

She’s gonna be home

She’s gonna be home soon

She’s gonna be home, I realize

I was never meant for you

Be quick to hide every trace of me

And I’ll clean up the mess I prepared

I’m miserable, can’t you see, my love?

But I’m not your priority to repair

Yet, the heart wants what the heart wants

what it wants is your blood to rush through me

and while I flee the murder scene, remember   

to keep my love as a memento in your memories

She’s gonna be home soon

And we’ve to lay our filthy coup

Boy, it’s not for me to hold

A moral high ground for you

She’s gonna be home

She’s gonna be home soon

She’s gonna be home, I realize

I was never meant for you

She gets a lifetime

Of pulling you into her authenticity

While I get a few minutes inbetween

To pass on the electricity

You know we have chemistry

And physics and biology and

I’ve done the math and it makes perfect sense

You plus me sets us free

But she’s gonna be home soon

And we’ve to catch caution from the wind

She’s gonna be home soon

to put an end to this honeymoon
You can breathe easy now
I won't blow, this cover since last June

She’s gonna be home, I realize

I was never meant for you