You know how certain people close to you say tiny little things to you that affect you too much for some reason?
Met this friend back in March. We saw each other after a couple of months and he said, with a disappointed face, that I've changed. I wanted to badger him with a barrage of questions but I was too saddened by it. I spent the rest of the night and the subsequent month thinking why he said something like that. I observed that because of what he said I was going out of my way to act younger. I spoke to another friend about it, if I had indeed changed for the worse. She said "It's just part of growing up. You can't be the same teenager all your life." She's right. Growing up may make you a little serious on the outwards but your spirit never dies. I mean, we all have our bright & chirpy and silent days right? Maybe it was just one of those days. When I mentioned this to my friend, it just seemed like he made that comment in passing, a comment I took way too seriously.
Around 10 days ago I was very disappointed in myself for behaving a certain way with myself (I can't elaborate on what I was doing) I'm a generally obsessive person (with almost everything I love, but not in a creepy way) but that day it started to creep me out. It started affected me physically, I was being a total psychosomatic. My acidity turned to a high temperature. I couldn't believe how idle my mind becomes when I'm alone and there's no work or nobody at home to distract me. I spoke to a friend about it and she took that stupidity and put a positive spin on it "Archie, you just have too much energy, you need to expend" And that has helped me so much! Everytime I'm idle and feel the obsessive tendencies coming on I just tell myself it's not my brain, it's just that my infinite energy wants to do something and so I either read or play the piano or sing.
What would one do without friends? :)
Met this friend back in March. We saw each other after a couple of months and he said, with a disappointed face, that I've changed. I wanted to badger him with a barrage of questions but I was too saddened by it. I spent the rest of the night and the subsequent month thinking why he said something like that. I observed that because of what he said I was going out of my way to act younger. I spoke to another friend about it, if I had indeed changed for the worse. She said "It's just part of growing up. You can't be the same teenager all your life." She's right. Growing up may make you a little serious on the outwards but your spirit never dies. I mean, we all have our bright & chirpy and silent days right? Maybe it was just one of those days. When I mentioned this to my friend, it just seemed like he made that comment in passing, a comment I took way too seriously.
Around 10 days ago I was very disappointed in myself for behaving a certain way with myself (I can't elaborate on what I was doing) I'm a generally obsessive person (with almost everything I love, but not in a creepy way) but that day it started to creep me out. It started affected me physically, I was being a total psychosomatic. My acidity turned to a high temperature. I couldn't believe how idle my mind becomes when I'm alone and there's no work or nobody at home to distract me. I spoke to a friend about it and she took that stupidity and put a positive spin on it "Archie, you just have too much energy, you need to expend" And that has helped me so much! Everytime I'm idle and feel the obsessive tendencies coming on I just tell myself it's not my brain, it's just that my infinite energy wants to do something and so I either read or play the piano or sing.
What would one do without friends? :)
4 comments:
You know your energy flows all around you, infecting others with your enthusiasm! Ooh but I'd like to know what you were doing to yourself :P
The best part about your posts is that they are so frank and effortless...did I tell you, I'm a fan!
You almost remind me of me a few years ago... I'm 28 mind you ;) well the one thing i learnt along the way and may be i should put it into a book is that sometimes you value someone so much that you take them way too seriously... Thing is they might not even care that much about you anymore.
2nd when someone says you've changed instead of badgering them with questions or even thinking about it, reply strongly saying you are either happy with the change or that you are aware of it and like how you're turning out to be or what ever...
3rd try to realize that there are things bigger than us happeningout there and that we can be a part of it instead of thinking about what someone said about us.
4th take someout and make a list in your head of things you like and dont like about yourself. If you think that that list is affecting your behaviour too much change it else it's not worth thinking about and you're probably just made that way for a reason.
Now i can go on and on but i'll stop because I dont like to corrupt your brain... and i dont want to emphasise how much time i have on my hands to actually critic your post(in a good way)...
bye
@Vasu - Thanks kiddo! I told you what I was doing! Go read our chat transcript from April 23rd.
@Anu - Yeah, that's the thing. I felt the change coming on. And though on one hand it felt great because people were taking me more seriously, I felt I was losing my "fun" side, so I was sorta skeptical myself.
Hey, you can ramble on as much as you want :)
We all change over time but you are right, spirit never dies
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