Today I was thinking how clumsy we all can be when having to lay the bed. I, especially, have this terrible way of sitting/sleeping wherein the bedsheet completely slips out. I tried to change this posture but my ass has been accustomed to a particular style of rolling around the bed and feels rather comfy in “finding its niche”, so to speak. So every fucking morning I get up, look at the mess I have made, let out a huge sigh and avoid it. But by afternoon the bed starts giving me the eye and I feel very conscious of my being as I sit with my laptop on the study table. Type girl, type, and don’t look directly at it!
So well, I had been doing a temporary tuck-in for the past 2 days which meant the tuck-in became more frequent – close to thrice a day – so I decided that I shall get the job done once and for all so I wouldn’t have to do it for atleast the next 2 days. See, laying the bed can be a very complicated process. If you don’t get your get your proportionalities right from all 4 sides of the rectangle, it can come back to haunt you at night when you smell something foul on your bedsheet only to realize you are half-sleeping on the dusty mattress, which brings me to dusting the mattress before laying the sheet. I hope your mom taught you the process so I will not get into the horrendously monotonous details. So anyway while trying to take my afternoon nap after laying the bed I contemplated putting the golden board pins over the laid out sheets from under the mattress to fix the sheet but soon changed my mind due to two very carefully thought-out reasons (i) The sheet could tear (ii) The pins could hurt, even though the mattress thickness is close to about a demure weiner’s. And then I was reminded of that unbelievable story of The Princess and the Pea. A true princess can identify a pea from under 21 mattresses. What! Hans Christian Anderson had no better work to do than write fairy tales on how a real female is delicate. Ok, without getting into the whole realm of feminism I shall close the day that could’ve been my 7th anniversary with the ex. Time for some regret cards.
P.S: I would be very disappointed if I get comments on this post. It would prove people have nothing better to do in life than to read an utterly useless blog entry about laying the bed.
14 comments:
lolz@ "finding its niche" and
extra extra lolz @ "demure weiner"!!! what an analogy!!
*messes the bed when Atrisa is not looking, then deletes the comment before shes back from laying the bed.
I was trying to measure the thickness of the mattress in inches. So, yeah. OK. *clears the throat*
An entire post about making a bed... WOW...
and you have time for afternoon siestas... DOUBLE WOW but with a sad face :-(
Awesome :D
Ah! The soft spot...Mine completely depends on the layout of the room :)
And I usurp all sheets on the bed and am forever tucked in...So no body likes to share a bed with me..Which is just fine :)
But whats the deal with the mattress being dusty?? :|
@ Mind - Yesh yesh benefits of second yr MBA :)
@ Choco - Ehm eh, like you know, you know?!?! I cleaned it but! Yeah. Phew.
often writing about completely useless stuff makes for wonderful reading, ogden nash for example :) and the adventures of your your bed and butt!
@ Mentalie - I love Ogden Nash! I've tried writing like him on a few occasions http://smalltalkcompulsion.blogspot.com/2009/04/things-that-go-wrong-for-things-to-go.html
It's more difficult than it looks :P
:D yes i have nothing to do on a saturday in office duh :) and hell no i cant let any of your posts go without my comments
People DONT have anything better to do in life than to read an utterly useless blog entry about laying the bed.
especially when an "utterly useless blog entry about laying the bed" shows up on the radar disguised like a spine-chilling mystic saga from a young damsel.
erm.. got any extra of those cards lying around? (ill trade you some G-trip tickets if you're interested)
i might need around 1,2... [starts counting, gets bored, goes off to read some human stew tales, (which BTW very interesting mmm mmmm)]
@ Ani - Ah ah ah welcome back!!! Waiting for your 55 words or less! Hows the arm?
@ Meghana - Yeah that! Titles can get very tricky :P
Regret cards? No. That was the last lot :) Why don't you join us there, Goa baby! We could brand the event - Baga Bloggers Bash. What say?
arm is good and i need to follow what the sweet doc said..exercise :D
I too hate making bed but the disorder in morning bothers
I think its more a symmetry thing. All the printed borders of the sheet have to be symmetrically equidistant from the edges of the bed. Then as you lay down, its akin to being in the center of something. Comfort Zone I likes to call it. I need a psychiatrist.
@ Pesto - Bang on!
@ Prashant - And I find my akin! Your psychiatrist or mine?
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