I do have to admit though, that starting a blog has been one of the adventurous things I've ever done in my life. Starting with the haikus, to third person poems, then first person poems to completely doing away with the metaphorical, I feel I have sort of been successful in saying what I exactly feel.
I don't have a whole list of things that people don't know about me, I've pretty much been an open book. A little bit of my blog browsing and you'll know who I am!
So I present to you a poem (?) I wrote at 17, right before my current ex became my then bf (get it?) Hehe. Kindly keep the age in mind as you read. Also, keep a bucket handy in case you feel like barfing, reading the word "love" in every sentence.
*****************************
There are no words that can describe this feeling
it can only be felt
deep down inside of me
the pain,
the suffering,
the joke that has been played on me.
How can I ever tell you how much I love you
when I know that you would turn away
and never look back at me
Those eyes, those beautiful devastating eyes
that could read every thought on my mind
Those eyes that I loved,
from the moment I set my eyes on you.
I lied when I said I don't love you
I know I lied 'cause I couldn't look into your eyes
The truth is that I never stopped loving you
the love that has destroyed me
the love I still love.
I thought that maybe time would heal me
crying would heal me
but love once happened can't fade away.
It's sad that it should introduce itself to me this way
Now your memories can only haunt me
'cause though I love you more than I can ever say
you never cherished me that way,
the reasons, I can't understand.
I can't understand why our friendship never blossomed into love
I have never wanted anything this badly
And that I have imagined
you touching every single part of me
right from my forehead to the ankles
making love in the way that makes me cry now
when I touch myself thinking those hands are yours.
Maybe it's my fault that my love was always a joke to you
I lied when I said it was mere infatuation
but even if I stood firm with my feelings
you still wouldn't have comprehended
But I don't blame you
you are your own master
and it's not your fault you never loved me.
How can I start my life afresh
when the only person I needed was you
How can I move on
when my past doesn't leave me
and wants to be my present and my future
How will I live
if I cut out the biggest part of my heart
the part occupied by you.
Maybe this is not our last goodbye
but it shatters me nevertheless.
I don't know when this feeling
that started as an infatuation
and became an obsession
ended up being so intense
that I never realized it was love
till I tried to forget you.
So if you can't keep me happy
atleast don't make me sad
my heart will stay with you
so keep it safe.
I live by the moments that we've shared.
I wish I could give you more
just a little more
I wish I could give you everything you ever wanted
but now I'm left with nothing at all.
*****************************
I need to tag a few people so I guess I will!
a) Choco
b) Mentalie
c) Meghana (whenever she gets the time!)
d) Shamanth
e) Shagun
f) Prashant
g) Poe
Happy revealing and relieving! :P
6 comments:
Sob, sob. Thanks for the warning.
However, not bad at all (although I feel hollow while commenting on poems,whether by 17 year olds or not)
How do you feel about the it(the poem) now ? Do you laugh it away, although still "sympathizing" with it in a way?
And, I did the tag. Thank you ;).
Woot! poem poem! woot!
:D
why did you tag me? why why :(
now i'll have to blatantly ignore you and then feel bad about it, see what you've done :(
and anyhoooo you don't need to get me hammered to find out my dirty secrets :D
geddit geddit? :D
also, you forgot to ctrl c + ctrl v the parentheses ;)
*time is a collective noun*
and yay! i <3 17 year old you!
i'd have so kicked the shitz out of her :D :P
*trisalla trisalla hoo ha*
right. OK. i'm going to go calm down now.
<3
@BP - Laugh and sympathize, exactly what you said!
Wow that post was quick :)
@Meghana - Uff you're done with all that itty bitty architecture work, now time to get back to blogging. Do you realize the last time you posted was on me budday :P Wait for my phone call biatch!
ooh,,, nice poem, liked it :)
You know what. If I were to ever give away a Candid Talker Award on my blog (why haven't I done that yet btw???), you would win it hands down.
Please don't lose the honest streak.
Are there more poems were this one came from? :)
And thanks for tagging me. I loooove tags! Promise to take it up some time.
oh my my how come at 17 we end up writing such long ones :D we get mad really thanks atrisa for doing the tag in a unique way loved every bit of it :D
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